I have been putting this off for a few weeks now. I miss blogging but I feel like an update is in order so we can all move on and for The July Journal to be happy and positive again. My regular readers, yes you are all amazing, will know that I haven’t published anything since Valentine’s Day. I have stayed away from most social media and only really shared anything on Snapchat if I really wanted too. Things happen in real life that you just need to take a break from everything. I wasn’t ready to share any of it until now. Perhaps because my mind has had time to deal with it.
Last month Edd and I split up. It was his decision and to be honest with you I have been broken. There was no middle. It was just really good and then really rubbish in the matter of days. Some of you may be thinking ‘why has it took you this long to get over it‘ but when someone is thinking they are going to spend the rest of their life with this person and the other person doesn’t think the same way, it tears you apart inside and throws you off track a bit. I had a plan while I was with Edd and all that changed in the space of a night. I just wasn’t prepared because I was so happy with him.
The day after we broke up, I started my first full time permanent job. It’s nothing exciting but I just knew I needed to concentrate on that so my blog took the back seat again. I didn’t feel like blogging at the weekends. I just wanted to avoid social media, avoid people and avoid conversations with everyone. I wasn’t eating. My life revolved around getting ready for work and putting a smile on my face. It drained all my energy that by the time I opened the door at 18:30 I just wanted to sleep. Three weeks of training later and I was finally starting to get back to normal.
I then got rushed into hospital in a lot of pain, extremely low blood pressure and not being able to keep anything down. After blood tests, scans and ultrasounds they finally found what has been causing my on going back pain. My gallbladder was inflamed and I had gall stones. Four days later and I had keyhole surgery to remove it. I have been on the sick ever since. Luckily, it should only take 6-8 weeks to fully recover and I have already started to feel a little bit better.
I just wanted to get back into blogging. I wanted to get all of this off my chest so I can concentrate on talking about all my favourite things again. This blog is like my diary. It’s where I share my life so it’s important that I keep you in the loop. It’s easy to rave about your favourite lipstick or share an amazing cupcake recipe but when you have personal things going on, the words just don’t come. It’s as though you lose your mind for a bit. I’ve still been keeping up with all my favourite bloggers and YouTubers and without them I don’t think I would have survived this mess.
So what am I doing now? I’m going back to work next week. I am doing okay. I am going to concentrate on myself and find myself again. Things are slowly getting back to normal. As far as my blog is concerned, I don’t really want to continue talking about my life for the time being. I would rather talk about beauty and skincare or foodie things. I hope that is okay with everyone.
I guess I need to press publish now…